I Never Wanted To Be Skinny

Hello Gorgeous Souls

Today I’m going a bit personal. It might get a bit ramble-y who knows? But I’ve got some stuff that I want to get out there, so here goes.

Let’s talk about that word.

Skinny.

What does it mean exactly? Websters dictionary defines it as “very thin”. Society defines it as a requirement. For me, it’s defined as an annoyance.

I never wanted to be skinny.

I have heard that word my entire life. People have called me skinny, a skinny-minny, barely there, said that I was built like a dancer, and so on and so forth. And I have hated it. I hate it.

Most people I have met seem to think that the word skinny is a compliment. It means you’re not (whisper this word) fat. I have never thought of it as a compliment.

Don’t get me wrong. I have never wanted to be overweight. There are people in my family who struggle with their weight, and I am doing everything I can to make sure that I always keep my weight under control. But I don’t see myself as skinny.

I feel like a I am at a healthy weight. And to me, that’s the important thing. When I see someone, unless they are unhealthily under or over weight, I just don’t notice weight. I never have. I have never compared my weight to others, because I always found that to be silly. I’m not them. They aren’t me. Why should I have to be the same?

I have never defined beauty on a scale number. Because to me at least, that’s not what beauty is.

Why has this country been programmed to think that the word skinny is a compliment?

Why isn’t fat a compliment?

Those are both the words we use to classify different body types. So why is it that skinny is a synonym for beautiful, and fat is a synonym for ugly?

I never wanted to be skinny.

People say I must not eat. I do eat.

People say I shouldn’t have to worry about my body. I do worry about my body.

Just because I am built thinner doesn’t mean I don’t watch what I eat. I am not trying to be thin. I am trying to make sure I don’t develop an unhealthy relationship with food.

I get why a lot of people hate thin people. I do.

They’re the people who society tells you that you’re supposed to look like. And for some thin people, it comes naturally. If you gain weight easily and have to work to stay healthy, these thin people seem like they’ve got it easy.

What most people don’t realize is that most of us aren’t confident with our body simply because we’re built thin.

When I look in the mirror, I don’t think about how great my body is because it’s thin. I see flaws. And a lot of them. Sometimes they make me feel unhappy, but sometimes I make myself push those thoughts away. Nasty little things, those thoughts. They can turn a gorgeous day to a crap-fest in a matter of seconds.

And I’m not the only one with them.

Check out this Bustle article about models and their insecurities.

Apparently even the people we consider “flawless” have insecurities. The difference is they don’t let those insecurities stop them from doing what they love.

I never wanted to be skinny.

And I don’t want that word to define me. I am more than that.

I refuse to be that person who looks back and remember when she had the body she wanted. Because from the time I was born until the time I die, this is my body. It was designed for me and me alone. Everything I am meant to do can be done with this body. I don’t need anyone else’s.

And neither do you.

So, tell me about you. What body defining word do you hate? What body ideal do you think is whack? Are you happy with your body? What do you think is something that should be changed about society’s view on beauty?

Share those things and anything else you’d like to add in the comments, or  feel free to email me if you prefer something more personal: lauren.ceallaigh@gmail.com

Just remember, keep it polite, keep it respectful. I’ll be happy to hear from you.

Love always,

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